Very Tired...

I believe that much of my (apparent) exhaustion is the stress of uncertainty with the job. I hate not knowing about the length of tenure. On the one hand, it sounds positive when you look at the Milestone projections & listen to the blather from management. On the other hand, I've been through layoff's before. So I have a bit of a heightened sensitivity when I hear a PM telling me "plans".

It's not that I love the job. I'm looking at how long I actually may or may not have to save money for the Executive Protection training. I just passed my three-month anniversary, but they don't have to keep me an entire six. They could let me go any time.

I estimated that I would need to remain employed at least until mid-July (six months) in order to get the full amount saved to attend CASS. If I have to take a lower paying position, it doesn't make it impossible to attend, but it does make it more difficult. I wouldn't be able to save as much per month, nor would I be able to have as much of a cushion of savings in addition to the tuition.


I really don't want to attend the shorter High Risk Tactical Operator Course. (They may suggest that as my starting point... or they may dismiss me entirely & not even accept my application.) If I have a chance to attend the full-length Advanced Executive Protection Course, that is what I wish to do. I believe that it will be the best option for my entering the industry.

I still have many other issues that I need to address; including getting back on track with the fitness routine & the Spanish studies. The job issue seems to be serving as a useful distraction. One again, it's coming down to the question of just how badly I want to succeed at this if I get the opportunity. The course won't be easy & I need to be as prepared as I can be.