It was much cooler today. It was in the 70's today rather than the 90's. I had a much better cadence today than Sunday. It's still going to take me awhile to even it out though. I remembered to wear the Asics this time & the New Balance shorts are great.
I got down to the trailhead early today. There wasn't much of a crowd. I was leaving just as it was beginning to get busy. Yes, still driving to McMillin. I'm going to wait to start using the other trail until I get a bit more time running. I'm still slogging at an uneven gait & not moving all that smoothly. I don't need the extra resistance just yet. It's only been a week.
I think that once I get to where I'm doing the full 5k runs I should be able to start doing the nicotine inclines & declines as the next phase. One bite at a time... I'm back on the patches as well this week. I think that made a difference. I really felt like I was breathing better today not having smoked. I actually felt better throughout the day... though there were a few times where the 'Jones' factor was getting to be a bit strong. Just the ritual segments where I can get out of the lab for a while or while stuck in traffic coming home. Right after the run... ha! Yeah, that one nearly killed me the other day.
I believe that it was a wise move to begin this at the same time. Feeling myself having to work a bit to get a breath those first few days got me taking the quitting more seriously. If I can make myself link one to the other I'm hoping that it will keep me honest. If I keep smoking it will short circuit the physical training. If I fail that I'm not going to be ready to enroll. All these things hinge on each other.
It keeps coming back to the issues about how serious one is to attain their goals, how hard their willing to work, taking small, logical steps in order to maintain momentum. Ultimately, how many people are consciously willing to throw away their future for the daily habitual nonsense? This can be the cigarettes. It can be eating garbage as your regular diet. It can be avoiding exercise.
Live how you want to live by all means. Just don't set down and start telling me how you'd "like to weigh what I did in high school"... because that's a load of crapola! You want no such thing. If you actually wanted it, you'd be taking at least some steps to make it happen. It doesn't even matter if they're the wrong steps. At least you've put yourself in motion & if you're persistent, you'll eventually figure things out.
Without movement towards the goal, it's nothing more than a topic of conversation. It's utterly pointless to present it as anything else. It’s also dishonest. The ultimate insult here is having the tendency to minimize and occasionally sabotage the efforts of others. I’m not even willing to waste my time ranting about this aspect except to say that I find it a pathetic statement of a person’s overall psyche when I observe such antics.
Yes, I have digressed… but I was thinking about this today. Do you have any idea how many times I simply wanted to stop moving my feet, slow down & slump back to the car? It’s a battle. There are “plenty” of people who would read this and make some kind of idiotic statement about how “obvious” I’m being. So how come such a large portion of the population hasn’t figured it out? That’s okay because the people who are honest will readily admit that it IS a battle. The jackass commentator probably hasn’t managed to accomplish much beyond logging on today.
You have to MAKE yourself do it every day. At first you’ll probably have to MAKE yourself take every individual step. Your body will want to quit. Your mind will want to slow down & spend time in front of the television. Your system will want to take the most effortless path that it can find. If you plan on getting anything productive and positive done… you’re going to be in for a fight. This will be more of an issue with some than with others obviously.
Personally, I’m… envious (?) of people who don’t seem to have such a conundrum when it comes time to get things done. I suppose that even these people may have some situations or activities that are difficult for them to be motivated towards. So I can see those people occasionally being envious of those others who seem content to set on their laurels as the world drives past them… and they deteriorate into their graves.
So for me… for right now… it’s going to be a daily thing. I’m going to need to remind myself just why I’m doing all of this. I’d really “prefer” to come home, set on the back porch with a bag of chocolate, a six pack of beer and a pack of cigarettes. Of course, I don’t think I could look at myself in the mirror once I topped 300-pounds and that size-48 pant. I wouldn’t be able to look at myself if I cast aside yet another opportunity either.
This isn’t about “failing”. It’s about willingly avoiding the challenges that make life more than an existence. Failing indicates that one actually tried. That’s a far different situation from avoiding the conflict altogether and slinking back into the shadows. By all means fail. Fail gloriously and often. It means that you’re not giving up. You may be the absolute worst at what your attempting… but you’re still better than the one who’s unwilling to attempt.
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