I won't go into too much detail here as far as identities because you never know who's going to end up reading this tripe. I'm not all that concerned when some people come up to me during the course of my travels & ask "Hey! Was that post in "xyz.forum.com" about me?" Yes. It was. You're either flattered or embarrassed. Stop worrying about what I said & take an introspective look at why I said it. Perhaps I'm just a jackass. Or perhaps my perspective is how 99% of the people you're talking to actually see you.
For the purposes of this post, let's say that there is "a guy". This guy talks at least every other day about "going to the gym". He says that he's going three to four days per week. He says that he works "back, bi's and abs" one day & "shoulders, tri's & chest" (or some similar derivative drivel) the other day. Uhm... yeah. That's a classic two-day split routine. It's as ineffective for the average, beginning strength trainee as it was thirty years ago when it first surfaced. That was back before steroids came under the "scrutiny" they enjoy today. Hmmm... I wonder if there's a connection.
Before the days of poofdom, when MEN trained with heavy weights on whole-body routines; MEN like John Grimek, Reg Parks, Doug Hepburn & other classic strongmen, such "split" routines were unheard of. It was understood that in order to gain lean mass... & thus STRENGTH one had to work the body HARD! It was also understood that the body adapted to such work due to an instinctive survival trigger; "You're obviously trying to kill yourself. I'll have to make myself stronger to counter this stupidity."
If you look at photos of these people, you may notice that they don't look like todays genetic freaks. Yes, they look "strong" but they don't look like an assortment of body parts stitched together in some basement Frankenstein experiment. They have a healthy symmetry. The other difference is that these guys could actually move weight! They had to because in those days, body building competition was a sub-category of lifting competitions. Not the other way around & not, as it is now, a totally unrelated genre... and what has essentially become a freakish cult. Anymore, I have more respect for WWF members than I do for IBBF members.
But I digress...
The "guy" states that he doesn't want to bulk up. A little bit of knowledge is can be a very dangerous thing! The term "bulking up" ordinarily relates to the loading of weight well before a competition. This actually is a traditional method for power lifters & body builders. They stop watching their wasitline in order to allow maximum caloric intake when they're magnifying their lifting programs to gain maximum muscle mass or in prepartion for a PR lift. It has little if anything to do with the rational, average trainee doing weight lifting to gain functional lean mass. It's a term that's been as misused as the two-day split I described earlier. If I had a dollar for every time I heard some twit respond with the "you don't want to bulk up" I'd be living on a beach somewhere. This is usually from someone who doesn't even train at all or worse yet, had a gym membership once that was utilized in the way I already described. If you look at them you'd have no idea that they ever even came close to a weight room, let alone lifted anything heavier than a lawn chair or a pint. (Not that there's anything at all wrong with lifting lawnchairs... or pints.) If you're happy with average strength & fitness I don't have a problem with that. To each his own. However, don't transfer your stupidity onto others in the guise of useful information. If this type of individual were being completely honest, they'd come right out & say "I lacked the dedication, interest & resolve to make it work. I'd still feel adequate if you did the same."
So our... zero is going to the gym, simply to "tone up". ARGGG!!!
Toning is a myth! One cannot "tone" what one does not have! If what this virgin is describing is a "ripped" look, then he either needs to start seriously lifting in a sensible, all-around training program & add significant cardio as well as controlling simple carbs and wasteful calories in his diet... or move to Somalia. Other than training properly, the only way he's going to get the look that he describes is by starving himself. One doesn't look "ripped" when ones ribs are showing. Boney, protruding shoulder joints are not attractive either.
Ironically, he could look SKINNY if he simply stopped eating. Yes, he'd look like an emaciated 3rd World refugee but this is precisely what he's describing, even though he doesn't realize it.
The other paradox here is that our zero says he doesnt want to... bulk up (Again ARRRRG!!!) yet he's following training programs used by professional body builders. The only things he's missing are 1) superior genetics that only about 5% of the worlds population have & 2) steroids!
At the head of all this is the fact that this guy won't listen to anyone else. He doesn't even listen to the advice of people who even remotely LOOK like they train with weights. Even though he's only been at it for a short while, you can't tell this dweeb anything. He's read a book. (Honestly? He's read couple of articles in a soft-porn muslce mag. Now he's an expert.) I suppose that he could be listenin gto the peopl eat the club wher eh trains. That's unfortunate because if they're anything like the feckless masses at evvirtually every training facility I endured, they're mired in the same, pointless, dead-end nonsense.
At least I'm learning, albeit slowly, that one cannot teach a pig to sing, or fly or not be a pig. There are people out there who simply refuse to acknowledge that what they're doing isn't working & is NEVER going to work. I suspect that the glamor (I'm not even certain that's how I want to phrase this) of being able to tell people that "I'm going to the gym four nights per week." has a certain appeal. I'm not sure where that appeal dies. Does it die when the person confronts themselves honestly & acknowledges that they've been training for 90 days & they look EXACTLY THE SAME as they did when they started? Does it take that same period of time with their friends & coworkers laughingly saying "Oh yeah. I can tell. It really shows." ?
I think it's somewhat tragic that these types of stories almost always end up the same. This guy will probably quit training in another few months because he's seeing virtually zero return on his investment. He may retain the membership... partly due to embarassment at his failure to make any progress. He'll wander in again every few months or so. He may wait until his New years resolution spurs him to repeat the horrific cycle yet again. I've been there. I've been there more than once.
Sadly, had this same guy stumbled on a SANE, WHOLE BODY APPROACH he would be light-years ahead of his peers. He could have added 20-pounds of muscle in the same amout of time that he trotted around the club, barely breaking a sweat & buring more dollars that calories! He would have understood the necessity of balancing aerobic and anaerobic training so that one doesn't end up burning the muscle they allegedly built the week before.
This isn't the only individual that I've had exposure to who was determined to do it their own way... despite their being living proof that their method doesn't work... & met with abyssmal results. Some of them were sincere & ignorant. Others were bull-headed, lazy & stupid. Those who were my friends, I still maintain relationships with. I just exclude them from ANY training relationship. I won't even discuss the subject with them. I will NOT lift with them, walk with them, run with them or anything else that involves the fitness regimen. They're a pariah when it comes to physical improvement. Why? Because it's obvious to me now that this is intentional. Not only do they not want to put in the work themselves, they seem determined to undermine my own efforts. I don't know if this is intentional. It may be a subconscious reaction. They miss the cigar nights, pub crawls & the other activities that we used to indulge in several times per month (or week).
So... this wasn't much of a rant. It started out that way. I began posting it late last night but (thankfully)Blogger lost the 40+ minutes worth of bile I'd spewed onto the page. That's what I get for trying to be fancy. This version is more information & opinion that the vitriolic diatribe I was penning at 10:40 PM last night.
This being the case, I'd like to offer a few more bits of experienced advice. While I myself am currently not the picture of healthy perfection, I am working on it. The individuals whom I previously referred to are leagues behind me as far as their knowledge & more importantly their willingess to research for themselves.
I tried everything that they tried. It didn't work for me either. It doesn't work reliably for ANYONE! (Well, at least not the normal, 95% of the populace who prefer not to poison themselves or render themselves sterile.) So here's what does work:
If I were to suggest a single, solitary tome that would empower the average trainee, it would be this one...
No! I don't make a single red cent on the sales of this book!
Although I've read many others which proved invaluable in my journey, Brawn was a revelation... & a revolution. It was an eye opener & I became a parrot, repeating "Yeah! Me too!" as I read of the authors observances on the state of frustration that the majority of trainees encounter. Every moment of failure that he suffered is repeated ad nauseum by tens of thousands of victims every day. From this volume, I'll attempt to toss out some very basic advice.
Use compound exercises! We're talking about building a FOUNDATION for the future here. Remember... Toning is a myth! No matter if your goal is fat loss, an increase in lean mass, the gaining of strength... all roads begin with the basics: Squats, deadlifts, presses & rows. YOU want to do more than just "pump up" your muscles. You want to develop solid, lean muscle mass. You also want to strengthen the connective tissue, the tendons & ligaments. This enables you to handle ever heavier resistance... & it also keeps you body healthy & injury free.
Do a FULL BODY routine! Yes that's right. Firstly, why spend more time in the gym or health club than is absolutely necessary? Unless you're suffering from severe loneliness & a keen sense of abandonment you should be spending that extra time with friends, famliy or doing some activity that you actually enjoy & that will benefit your mind. A full-body routine done two to three times per week is what you should be doing. You shouldn't expend more than 60 to 90 minutes. Don't burn up Gatorade going into the gym four to five, or even six days per week unless you're aiming for competition... & I mean you're competing THIS YEAR!
You will gain NOTHING as a beginner by concentrating on what equates to finishing exercises. If anyone tells you otherwise... get some cardio in by running away from them as fast as you possibly can. Drive away from them if possible. (Personally, I'd prefer that you do the world a BIG favor and run them over!)
Those first two really do go together. Compound exercises and full-body routines. Not only do you train your core body, but the compound movements have a proven knockoff effect overall; specifically the squats & deadlift. Personally, I'd put dips & overhead presses in there as well. Both are fatastic strength builders & the hit not only the obvious target structures but just about everything else that's connected right down to the floor. No wonder it's so unpopular. Do this stuff TO THE HILT three times per week & then tell me that you're not exhausted at the end of every single session. (I don't think that one needs to train to failure every single session. I've had plenty of training sessions... with decent weight on the bar, where I've made the reps with a tad to spare... & still been virtually useless at the end of that time.)
Add weight whenever possible! Progress is the entire point. No? One will not gain an ounce of mass, strength or anything else unless the resistance is increased. There's no need to be ridiculous. Add a weight that will allow you to maintain proper form, cadence & repetitions. Add a weigh thta allows you to lift under CONTROL! But... ADD THE WEIGHT! If you aren't doing that... stop training. You're not going to get anywhere. (Regarding adding reps as opposed to adding weight... see the embedded links again for "toning" & "bulking". There are differing methods for adding resistance... but fully researchthem first.) The proven method is to add weight & maintian the reps.
Slow but steady is how this game is played. Too much weight & you'll lose momentum & motivation. Not enough weight & you'll be spinning your wheels. As a note, most clubs don't have plates smaller than 2.5 pounds. (Some places don't have anything smaller that 5 pounds! Morons!) I've seen a few places that had 1.25 plates, but those usually disappear. Either that or people look at you with a snicker. "Why are you using such light weights?" I'd like to write something here... but what I'd like to say would likely get this blog removed. Suffice it to say that you can do a few quick calculations for yourself. It doesn't take a math major to figure out how small increments of weight added CONSISTENTLY can "move a mountain".
Take 1.25 pounds & multiply it by three times per week. Now take that number & multiply it by say 26 weeks. That's 97.5 pounds you've just added to a compound exercise like your squats, bench or overhead press or deadlift. If it were squats, you've just gone from lifting the bare Olympic bar (45 pounds w/ clips) to squatting 142.5 pounds. You've done it in six months.
Oh, it gets better! Double that number! Do this type of program, adding that small increment of weight for an entire year? You're now squatting... 285 POUNDS! So the next time some brainless dimwit chides you for using small plates, just look at them knowingly... & keep training. They're blithering imbeciles. It's also a safe bet that they've NEVER added significant weight to ANY lift they're doing. On esignificant thing about small increment additions is that it's enough to ramp up the pundages, it's enough to force your body to gradually adjust to the requirements... but it's rarely enough to ram you into a plateau.
If you're fortunate enough to train at home or in a similarly convenient location (& I certainly hope you are that fortunate!) I highly recommend investing in some of these...
They're fractional plates made by a company called Peidmont Design Associates. The weights run from 1 .oz all the way to 1-pound & cover every necessary increment in between. These things are outstanding in quality & function!
There's a link for the company at the top right of this page. Again, I'm not making money from ANY of these companies or products... I just happen to use a lot of their products & every piece that I own has proven to be well worth the investment. If you belong to a commercial gym,... they may allow you to bring these in. (YOu may not even want to say anything. Just do it & wait for them to object.) Just make certain thet you keep them in view & don't leave them lying where they'll be lost or stolen. (I think that PDA still stamps your initials on all but the smallest plates at no charge. When I bought mine, they just came that way. It was a nice personal touch & these guys did a fantastic job.)
Again, the point of having such a tools is that it allows you to continue your progress to almost absurd levels. Every time you start approaching a plateau, you can drop the weight down, drop the weight down & drop the weight down again. You can add as little as a single ounce... & yet continue to add weight. This isn't an iaaues when you're starting out, but once the weight gets to around 150% of your body weight now you're into the serious work zone. Now you actually have to start planning your stratgey. Set that ability up beforehand. Set it up with the training log, the micro-plates, the research...
Keep a training log! The number of people who looked at me like I was from Mars is testament to the malfunction that the fitness "industry" has become. The idea is as foreign to them as a cullinary delicacy from the Republic of Togo. If you're not keeping track of the specifics of each training session... how do you have any idea of your progress? This is probably one of the sginle most significant stumbling blocks I've seen in other trainees. I've known guys who never wrote anything down. They just went in, stuck some plates on the bar & did as many reps as they could. They basically had no idea how much weight they were lifting nor hwo long they'd been stuck there. This went on for over five years with one guy that I worked with.
Your log should have the date, the time (you're going to want to know how long these sessions are taking you), the exercises & those should be seperated out by sets & reps. Some people keep it simple with a spiral notebook. They just organize in page format as they go along. I personally prefer something closer to a binder... because when I make up my own routines I like to dump them into Excel. The page formatting makes it pretty easy to organize the cells however you want. One disadvantage of the Excel method is that you tend ot use an entire page per session. This isn't really a problem for me as my handwriting is so La grande`! once I start getting cranked up that I cannot fit it into teeny-tiny lines anyhow. The spiral format (if you write small enough & are the organized type)can allows you to cram multiple session onto a single page. So no flipping back to see what you were doing yesterday or last week. YOu can get several sessions in a glance which is very handy. But again, if your penmenship is like mine ater your heart starts pumping, you won't have room for comments & possibly won't be able to read what you wrote later.
Ultimately, you should be able to look through your log & know EXACTLY how much you've lifted, how much you've added, how each session went (include a space for comments!!!)... every detail that will facilitate your understanding of what you're doing... & what you're truly capable of. If you want to, you can transfer that stuff into a spreadsheet or just a text document later. I do. I like ot keep the comments & such in a seperate Word document. These I expound later.
Lastly, again on the small increments, adding weight & all that good stuff: This whole thing is about progress. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Anything worth having is worth working for. Anything you get for free either isn't... or it's worth less than what you paid for it. Yes, they're all tired old mantras. They're also all true. It's taken me my lifetime to realize what they meant.
I'll finish this with one last jewel. This one from
Henry Rollins.
If any of this helped you, feel free to e-mail. Or don't.
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